Lesson 20: Get real - it's time

Where are you at right now? What is the situation, the frustrations? What seems to snag you most in this space? Have you ever analysed the circumstances, the ones that keep recurring, and considered the common crimson thread that weaves its way through your life so intricately?

waiting God's way

With me it has been waiting - no surprise there hey! I never wanted to wait for anything. If I wanted it, I wanted it straight away (me and every other person that lives on this green earth hey!?) When taking matters in to my own hands and not waiting - especially when it came to retail wants - I generally ended up regretting impulsive decisions, especially when the bills arrived a few months down the line. Despite the regrets I would get over them eventually and find myself veering towards that direction later on down the line again - impatience, my champagne taste and my general need to make things happen sooner rather than later, meant the lesson wasn't learned and the waiting would just stretch on until I got it...God's timing trumps it all ladies and gents, getting ourselves stretched beyond our financial limits for wants is not a great plan and neither is trying to force God's timing for things we want to happen, when we want it to happen and not trusting His plan. 

I can only smile now as I take stock of my life now - understanding now that my greatest, steepest learning curve has been learning to wait - call it my big snag - it is a painful journey - I have to be honest, learning to let go of me and to trust my heavenly Father's timing has been anything but a holiday on the French Riviera. All of this meant I had to consciously let go of my preconceived ideas and organised routes in my mind.

I had to let go of how I think it should work and completely surrender to the possibility that it will happen in every way expect according my expectations. I really have had no choice - it was surrender or live a life of complete anxiety and regular failure. When life doesn't go according to the plans in our head, it can feel like we have somehow failed. I had to surrender - not give up - but let go of the ‘how’ of my life story. What do I know anyway? I wanted normal for a long time but even that seems like another unreal fantasy – as Whoopi Goldberg has said, “The only normal she has ever seen is the cycle on a washing machine.”

We have to understand that the plan for each of us is so unique and custom fit that we can’t live in comparison to others. Most importantly, waiting is part of the process of growth. After planting a seed, the gardener waits to the tiny plant emerge from the soil – some seeds germinate quickly and others only require a few days to peep out from under the soil but there are those seeds that will need weeks or months to show even a hint of growth, or better yet, the potato who doesn't even give you the tiniest hint of the wonder that is taking place beneath the ground. With all the right conditions in place, that seeds growth is imminent. The waiting is non-negotiable – this is the time that you either allow growth or you give in to the doubt and unbelief that easily sniff out a vulnerable, waiting heart. Like leeches, they quietly take hold of it at the prime opportunity, drawing the life blood out of your hopes, faith and dreams.

You have to be on guard at all times, preparing yourself to fight off the doubt leeches and every other parasitic germ of unbelief. Arming yourself for the waiting battle.

Find the encouraging scriptures and inspirational quotes and keep them on hand or memorise them for those times when your heart feels most unlikely to resist. Surround yourself with people who support you and believe in you – who will leave you feeling stronger and inspired. Understand your triggers, know what makes you feel negative. Ask yourself when do you start losing hope and get into the habit of super-fast identification of the downward spiral so you can deal with it swiftly.

Waiting takes balls of steel (my humble apologies if that offends you but there is just no better way to explain myself right now). Waiting is not for the faint-hearted. It takes an incredibly determined, courageous person to wait, especially when it takes much longer than anticipated. It takes faith and yes, even some humiliation as people begin to question your journey and your decisions. No matter what your snag is, whether it’s impatience, anger, unforgiveness, unbelief, rejections or heartache. If you are at this place and it’s not the first time, chances are God’s speaking to you. Chances are He is highlighting an area or perhaps two, that require your full attention and some serious alterations. Until you deal it, you are going to land right back here again…waiting for the breakthrough from any of the above or from waiting itself.

So get real with your space. Where are you at now? How did you get here and have you been here before? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then ask yourself, “What is it I need to learn here? What do I need to change or do differently starting today?”

Sometimes the answers don’t come that quickly but I have found that the more questions I have been prepared to ask myself, the more I face my stuff and the deeper I reflect, the greater my understanding of what needs to happen next. The little moments will lead to greater one’s and voila – at last my brain begins to get it. Slowly but surely we will learn when we find the courage to ask the tough questions. When we take responsibility for our choices and the changes we need to make.

God's promise to us that He will be with us through the dark valleys and the gentle streams but ultimately He leaves the choices up to us. The choice to find truth and to face it, the choice to grow, to leave the comfort zones and to learn from the lessons of our living.

If we would just open our eyes, our hearts and get real God can get working. It sounds simple but the barriers to surrender are far greater than we realise and the flesh is tougher than we give credit to, so it is going to require strength and a daily re-commitment but it can be done. Philippians 4 verse 23 tells you that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Getting real will be the first most courageous step you take and you already have the promise of the strength to do this. 

Be bold, be courageous and be real, the journey will challenge you but you will never regret the growth or the victory that is will bring if you persevere. 

Be blessed,

Michelle

Lesson 19: So where is North anyway?

Finding your way...

I am generally not good at gauging compass directions. Even my left or right can be problematic - I often get it wrong more than I get it right, and when left should be right I am saying right instead of left...now you work that one out, right! Now don't even ask me where North or South is right now as I sit at my desk - ask my dad and he will always know - but one would hope so as he is a pilot.

Sometimes I need to use the navigator on my phone,  hoping to be guided with absolute clarity to my intended destination, but it says things like head 20 km West on Route 27. Okay, great which way would West be then??

You know the saying that if you don't know where you are going chances are you will never arrive - so true. For a long time in my life I had some idea about where I wanted to get to in my life , but without the understanding of which direction my destination was in it was going to be quite interesting trying to find 'X marks the spot'. It was like I was searching for treasure with the wrong map on the wrong island - and so instead of landing the treasure chest full of gold it ended up looking like an Easter egg hunt on Valentine's Day.

There have been so many moments when I have felt completely depressed and let down by life as I surveyed the hurricane damage experienced along some of the paths taken. I have felt enormous despair and hit the bottom like a rock wondering what I had done that was so terrible to allow this ‘stuff’ to happen to our family  and when or if it was ever going to get better. I am sure you can relate to what I am saying - you may even be having one of those moments right now. I think it is relatively normal to have these moments but you have to know it's not very productive to reaching your destination. Now growing up as one does when faced with challenges of this kind, has taught me a few things, that I am determined to learn the lesson the first time around from here on - otherwise it's like deja-flippin-vu and these lessons just keep recurring like a low budget movie, and that the rock bottom moments can actually be used to refocus you. 

Hitting rock bottom is a bit like get a jolt from a tazer and it can actually dislodges some of that toxic thinking and can allow the fog to lift a bit. In that moment you need to choose to be honest, because when you really face your stuff you can deal with the things that are confusing that little inner compass preventing you from finding your way. 

So let's make this simple and practical.

Here is what not to do when the rock hits your bottom:

• Don't get into a negative and over emotional head-space 
• Don't put on depressing music and eat 2 gallons of chocolate ice-cream on your own
• Don't allow depressing lies about your future or lack thereof take over your heart and your head
• Don't blame everyone else, the government and your electrician for your current co-ordinates 
• Don't over react
• Don't ignore this space and pretend it will be over in the morning

Now here is what you should be doing to redirect:

Get practical and consider what you need to learn from this. If you have been here before chances are you did all of the above the last time instead of getting real, facing your stuff and learning from this route.

Romans 12:2

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Be honest and take responsibility for getting yourself to this place. The more honest you are with yourself the sooner you will be able to shift your attitude and make the personal decisions that will bring fresh and productive results. Oh and avoid the ice-cream it will just give you stomach ache, chocolate is so much better in these moments.

Philippians 4:13

‘I can do everything through him who gives me strength.’

Take hold of the lies - God has promised you a hope and a future. The fact that Jesus died for you means that there is a future for you. You are good enough, you are worth it and most importantly you have what it takes to be victorious. You are not alone, even in your darkest moments.

Jeremiah 29:11

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.’

Reframe 

Check your response and avoid being impulsive. Rather step back from a situation for a few moments to get perspective. Sometimes a little bit of distance can show us what is really going on and gives us the space to calm down and approach the situations or circumstances with an alternative route.

Galatians 5:22-23

‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.’

Face your cul-de-sac. You got here because of decisions you made along the way, the only way to get out is to understand why you are here and what you need to do to find your way back to the right road. What do you need to do differently to avoid coming back here? God doesn't want you to remain stationary in this place, there is always the option to reverse and recalculate. 

Joshua 1:9

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

You can find your way on this path – just be ready to learn. It is the only way to move forward instead of dancing around in frustrating circles. Get through this lesson – put on your big girl or boy pants and make some changes, grow and be victorious. The wonderful thing about doing this is that no matter what anyone says or does or thinks about you – they cannot take away your victory or the wisdom you will gain from tucking a lesson learned into your belt.

Find your North and get moving – the path leads up and if you've dropped the vision along the way, remember to dust it off and take it with you.

Be blessed, be strong and courageous, the lessons are not bigger than you, they are yours for the taking.

Michelle